Last Blessing for 2013

SO FAR: $11.02

$15.56 UPromise
$205 gifts
$20 Travel Plus rebate
$40 trans (estimated)
$600 overtime pay (estimated)
$910.92 vacation pay
$87.50 food
$225 lodging
$? registration
=$2103.98
10%=210.40
+$11.02
=221.42
-$215 Orphan's Tear
=$6.42

Blessings

I had a miserable time this week.  I'm still sick and I still had to go to work and get stuff done and it was just miserable.  I have to admit that it does help me to develop greater dependence on God b/c I really have no other choice but I'd really rather not be miserable.  I can't wait until I'm on vacation next week.

SO FAR:
$400 trans
$106.09 credit card rebate
$130.13 sick time
$15.56 rebate
$41.18 savings
=$692.96
10%=$69.30
+$41.72
=$111.02
-$100 Philippines
=$11.02

Blessings: First Book

I found out that one of the editors I work with want to publish my first book!  I'm so excited.  Maybe it'll come out in the next year or two.  I have been feeling God supporting me in my writing for a long time and things are finally starting to happen.

I've been thinking about how to change my giving for next year.  I think I'll continue to tithe extra on vacation/sick time and instead of calculating a flat amount each month, I'm going to calculate 10% each month so I'll be giving extra on 3 paycheck months instead of dividing that up over 12 months.. I think eventually, I want to give all the extra money I earn from my writing to charity (like C. S. Lewis).  First, I need to get rid of my massive student loans.

SO FAR:$101.24
$50 rent
$30 phone
$100 car insurance
$10 gym
$63.85 bills
$69.49 sick time
$31.50 Michaels'
$400 trans
=$754.84
10%=$75.48
+101.24
=$176.72
-$35 World Vision
=$141.72
-$100 Orphan's Tear
=$41.72

Blessings

I can't say I'm feeling blessed this week.  I'm very sick.  I guess I could be thankful for my sick time.  I remember those days when I didn't have any.  Still, I think I'd rather be healthy.

SO FAR: $85.76
$42 sale +  coupon
$112.78 sick time pay
=$154.78
10%=$15.48
=$101.24

*I haven't given my money to the Philippines yet.  Missed offering at church b/c I was sick.  I'll have to figure out some other route.

Blessings

I woke up super early today.  God does this to me every once in a while.  He wakes me up and says spend time with me!  I've given up on going back to sleep after doing my QT.  I've been lying awake for a while so I decided to get some stuff done.

I've decided that this month I'm going to give a tithe of my blessings to the Philippines.  I'm actually going to give more than the tithe because I believe in giving to the point that I feel nervous about whether I'll be able to pay my bills that month.  I think I've been a bi too comfortable lately.

SO FAR: $78.26
$20
$6 lunch
$5 lunch
$5 BBB coupon
$37.50 GAP sale
$3 Etsy sales
=$73.50
10%=$7.50
$85.76

Blessings

SO FAR: $73.12
$3 Amazon mp3s
$2 snacks
$40 research
$5 rebate
$1.36 sale
=$51.36
10%=$5.14
+$73.12
=$78.26

Blessings

SO FAR: $22.42
$4 free lunch
$500 free training
$3 more food
=$507
10%=$50.70
+$22.42
=$73.12

Blessing: Encouragement

This week, I am thankful because an editor asked me to submit something for his journal.  I really feel God encouraging me in my writing.

SO FAR: $34.32
$36.80 bills
$30 phone
$100 car insurance
$50 rent
$4.16 groceries
$10 gym
=$230.96
=$23.09
+$34.32
=$57.42
-$35
=$22.42

Blessings This Week

SO FAR: $31.82
$2 Michael's
$5 lunch
$18 reimbursement
=$25
10%=$2.50
+$31.82
=$34.32

Blessings: Tuition Reimbursement

I had to make a major sacrifice this month.  I was taking a class in mindfulness for CEU.  Its basically meditation.  Meditation is being billed as the next hot thing, a panacea to cure all ills.  It was great at first, it helped me relax and I slept like a baby after meditating at night.  But then I realized that there was a spiritual component; it's not just physiological.  I did some research on meditation and concluded that as a Christian I cannot be engaging in a pagan spiritual practice.  It's very dangerous.  I was so afraid that I had opened myself up to the demonic realm but I've been ok since I stopped meditating.  Goodbye $640 I spent on tuition.  You're not worth imperiling my soul.  But snap, I really could use that money.

SO FAR: $20.72
$379.98 tuition reimbursement (for another course
$18 travel reimbursement
$39.50 Gap sale
$5 Bed Bath & Beyond
$3 CVS
$9.54 groceries
$5 free lunch
$1 free sample
=$461.02
10%=$46.10
+$20.72
=$66.82
-$35 World Vision
=$31.82

Blessings

So Far:$20.12
$4 free water
$2 free snack
=$6
10%=$0.60
+$20.12
=$20.72

Blessings: New Air Purifier

My mom bought  me an expensive air purifier because of my allergy/asthma problems.  I'm looking forward to see if it helps.

SO FAR: $30.32
$889.63 air purifier
$3.29 Staples rebate
$5.13 groceries
=$898.05
10%=$89.80
+$30.32
=$120.12
-$100 Orphan's Tear donation
=$20.12

Blessings: $50 Survey Check

I've been feeling a conviction approaching.  I should start paying for my own car insurance instead of my parents.  But it's over $200/month due to my accident history.  I have no idea how I'll squeeze that much out of my budget.  I'm going to pray over it and decide this month.  I know I have to start paying it myself eventually, I wasn't expecting to start this soon.  It's not easy conforming my life to God's will.  This year has been all about that and it's been a painful process...

SO FAR: $3.51
$50 from survey
$35 fourteen free meals
$8.79 free book
$15 two free umbrellas
$36.35 help with bills
$50 rent
$20 gym
$14.97 book on sale
$20 Renaissance fair
$18 travel reimbursement
Drexel?
Cbt?
car ins
phone
10% coupon
=$268.11
10%=$26.81
+$3.51
=$30.32

Blessings: Vacation!

I'm at a friend's house and having a great time.  I also was contacted for second round of interviews.  The free computer didn't work out b/c my friend's spouse broke it.  That's ok.  It's not like I was counting on it.

SO FAR $26.14
$0.90 Staples
$80 free meal
$2 socks
$2 sample spices
$30 12 free meals
$8.79 free book
<$17.50>
10% coupon I can't find right now
=$123.69
10%=$12.37
+$26.14
=$38.51
-$35 World Vision
=$3.51

Blessings: $50 Survey and Freelance Opportunity

This week I was grateful b/c I was contacted for a $50 survey and freelance opportunity.  I really feel like God is honoring the decisions I've made this year like increasing my giving, reporting my freelance income, and switching to socially responsible investing.

SO FAR: $19.67
$5 free lunch
$4 free water
$55.68 bills
=$64.68
10%=$6.47
+ $19.67
=$26.14

Blessings: Free Computer

I may be able to get a free computer!  I've been praying that God would provide.  Didn't expect a free one though.

SO FAR: $6.75
$1.50 ebook
$7.64 groceries
$120.07 Kohl's
=$129.21
10%=$12.92
+$6.75
=$19.67

Blessing: Job Interview

I had a good week last week.  I was really proud of myself because I landed an interview and I did well!  It felt really good and I actually enjoyed the experience.

My concern is that this is a for-profit organization and will I be able to make enough money to pay off my loans.  If I'm not offered the position, at least I don't have to go through the agony of making a decision and I can move forward to other interview opportunities with confidence.

I really feel like I am experiencing the riches of God's grace.  Ultimately our blessings are spiritual blessings and not financial ones.

Here are my blessings in the last two weeks.

SO FAR:$13.79
$50 rent
$100 car insurance
$30 phone
$9.99 free book
$10 free flash drive
$3.99 Rite Aid
$4.02 groceries
$17.95 free book
$24.21 credit card rewards
$29.47 Amazon savings
=$279.63
10%=27.96
+$13.79
=$41.75
-$35 World Vision
=$6.75

This Week's Blessing: Another Job Opportunity

So I was contacted for yet another job opportunity.  So far the opportunities that I've had so far have not panned out but it's encouraging to have them continuously come in.

It's that time of month again-- when I look at my finances and I panic because I have no idea how I am going to pay the bills.  I think it'll get easier once I get through August.  I have reimbursements and some extra pay coming.  Until then, I'm getting through by suspending savings and maybe selling furniture that I don't need.  I'm praying that God will provide miraculously for me.  That's why I started doing this after all.  I want to see God's miraculous provision in my life.  

SO FAR: $13.79
$15.29 Grocery sale
$4.49 Rite Aid
=$19.78
10%=$1.98
+$13.79
=$15.77
+$30 cell phone bill
=$45.77
-$40 Support missionary
=$5.77
*There's more Rite Aid savings but can't find receipt right now

This Week's Blessings: 2 Job Opportunities

This past week was a great week.  I felt like God was blessing me for choosing to give. I had two people contact me for job opportunities. One is a contract, temporary position which I could do outside my regular job.  Another is in my field, hopefully a better-paying job.  I'm waiting to see if either one of them will pan out.  I also had a really interesting occurrence happen at work this week. I received the opporutnity to work on a rare case, a rare disorder. I'm really lucky.  A lot of potential opportunities could arise out of this case, including publication.  My supervisor suggested this could be my niche when I eventually go into private practice.  I feel lucky and I'm grateful.  It makes me wonder what other opportunities God will send and it encourages me to continue giving.  

I have been feeling slightly discouraged b/c my student loans are in the 6 figure range. I'm dying to pay it off so that I can go into private practice and work part-time.  Currently, I'm on track for public service loan forgiveness since there is no way I could possibly pay it off on my dinky less-than-the-US-median-salary salary.

I felt comforted this week b/c I felt God telling me that He can send all sorts of opportunities my way, opportunities that I never even imagined.  Each month around bill-paying time, I start to panic.  I've been so paranoid that I won't have enough money to pay the bills that I've been economizing like mad.  I'm feeling better and I can eel my faith rowing as I watch God provide.

SO FAR: $4.38
$68.10 bills
$26.01 YNAB sale
=$94.11
10%=$9.41
+$4.38
=$13.79

This Week's Blessing: Ticket Sale

This week I was able to buy a really chap ticket to go see my friend on the other side of the country.  I'm happy.

I decided that I'm going to go ahead and give to charity instead of setting aside the money for missions.  This means that I'll be really stretched in my giving, but God has been bringing me through for the last year.  He'll continue to help.  I calculated my giving percentage based on my salary and side income (excluding benefits).  I found that I've give 16-17% so far this year.  (!!!)  I'm not sure how I managed this.  My goal this year was to give 15%.  I've overshot it and I've been doing ok.  I have enough money for al my needs and some of my wants.  I bet I'm getting audited next tax season.

Speaking of taxes, I figured out that I can legitimately deduct the use of a home office and cost of a new computer given that my side income requires it.  The problem is the exclusivity rule.  I cannot use that space or that computer for anything other than my side business.  If I can deduct the costs, it's worth it.  I spent this weekend rearranging my room so that I have space for a home office.  I can't start using it as a home office until I get a new computer, which will be end of August.  So I'll start in September!

SO FAR:$59.61
$4.78 groceries
$99 plane fare
$43.93 books
$50 rent
$100 car insurance
=$297.71
10%=$29.77
+$59.61
=$89.38
-$35 World Vision
=$54.38
-$50 Orphan's Tear
=$4.38

This Week's Blessing: Auto and Travel Reimbursements

SO FAR: $47.39
$84.42 Auto Reimbursement
$23.25 Travel Reimbursement
$10 lunch
$4.50 BOGO sale
$0.02 found money
=$122.19
10%=$12.22
+ $47.39
=$59.61

I'm not sure what to do with this money.  Should I give to missions or to humanitarian needs?  Ordinarily, I would give $50 to humanitarian and an additional $40 to mission.  Frankly, I'm really not sure I can continue giving at this rate.  I think I need to cut back by about $50 per month.  Ever since I started tithing on benefits, my giving has gone up to a very uncomfortable level.  I feel reeeeeally stretched right now. I think my current level of giving (based only on my paycheck) is somewhere between 12-14% to church; including charity, it's a couple percentage points higher.  I should have posted this earlier in the day, I need time to pray about this.

This Week's Blessing: Course Found

I finally found the course I need to take.  It's only a 1 credit course, I'll probably have to take it this fall or this spring.  I was also really thankful for the cool weather this month.  I hate the heat of summer.  Plus, I saved money on utilities as I didn't have to run the a/c or the fan.

So FAR: $36.89

$1.51 groceries

$100 car insurance

$3  water

$0.50 bagel

($30 phone? excluded for now)

=$105.01

10%=10.50

+$36.89

=$47.39

(will deduct cost of missions t-shirt and maybe supporting missionary from this)

This Week's Blessing: Tuition Reimbursement

I am so grateful that my job reimburses tuition.  The pay might suck but the benefits are great!  I'm also grateful for the cool weather this week, keeps my utility bills down.

I was convicted this week that I need to keep the amount I live on between $1000-1100.  That's the level where I start to feel anxiety about paying the bills and I start to pray more and I become thankful for little things like the weather.  At the rate I've been giving the last 2 months, it looks like I'll stay there whether I want to or not.

SO FAR: $17.24
$1 free water from work
$540 tuition reimbursement
$15 CPR training at work
$19.99 continuing education at work
$19.96 savd on utilities
$0.50 grocery sale
=$596.45
10%=$59.65
+ $17.24
=$76.89
-$35 World Vision
=$41.89
-$5 Show Hope bracelet (proceeds go to charity so I'll deduct 50%)
=$36.89

A Perpetual Crisis of Dependence

I found a quotation which encapsulates my formula.

God's will is that our lives should be in "a perpetual crisis of dependence on him."  We defeat his will in our lives when we lay up treasures on earth. 

The life of faith does not follow automatically when a person becomes a Christian.  It requires deliberate action on his part.  This is specially true in an affluent society.  The believer must put himself in a position where he is compelled to trust God...It is only as he gets rid of his reserves and other false supports that he can truly launch out into the deep. 

God pours out his choicest blessings on those who are anxious that nothing shall stick to their hands.  Individuals who value the rainy day fund above the present agony o the world will get no blessing from God. 

                                          --William MacDonald, True Discipleship

I have to get this book!

Formula for Experiencing God's Provision and God's Peace

So after giving beyond the tithe to charity for about a year, I finally get it.  I finally understand how a person can orchestrate his/her life to be able to experience God' provision.

1> Give to charity enough to feel the pinch.  (at least 10%, but whatever percentage will necessitate that you make some sacrifices)
2> Calculate your finances, realize you might not be able to pay all your bills b/c you gave so generously, panic.
3> Ask the Lord to provide, reminding Him of His promises, reminding Him that the reason your financial situation is precarious is not b/c you were wasteful, dumb, or negligent w/ your finances but b/c you made giving a priority in order to please Him.  Remind yourself that God has promised to provide.  Feel peace.
4> Go through steps 1-3 weekly.
5> Watch God provide, feel joy and peace, feel your faith increase, go back to step 1.  Repeat cycle often enough so that you can reach a point where you can skip step 2 panic straight into step 3 peace.

I still get into panic mode on a regular basis.  My finances are very, very tight right now.  All I can do is take a deep breath, remind myself of His promises, and push though.

This Week's Blessings

Today, I'm feeling a bit anxious about my finances.  My roommate moved out yesterday so I'l be paying more on bills.  I've also come to the conclusion that when it comes to benefits, I should give the tithe to my church not to charity.  It's the same amount every month so it's easy to calculate.  But lately my giving has risen from $400/monthly to $500+.  I look at my budget and I get very, very nervous because I'm not sure how I'll pay for everything.  Here's the breakdown

Monthly after-tax income:$1820
$400 church tithe
$100 charity
$100 savings
$40 missions
$450 rent
$191 student loans
$100 medical expenses
$150 utilities
$70 gas
$100 food
$119 toiletries, clothing, shoes, plane ticket, professional dues, etc.

Yikes.  My parents pay for my car insurance and phone bill but I've been thinking I should be financially independent and start paying for that too.  But then where is it supposed to come from?  I'm also choosing not to save for retirement at this time because I'm praying about whether that's something that pleases God. Anyways, I look at my budget and it doesn't add up.

On the other hand, if the reason why I don't have enough to live on is because I'm being faithful with God's money, why wouldn't He provide for me?

So those are the two poles I vacillate between.  For now,  I'm going to cut down on utilities as much as possible-- limit a/c, shower at the gym, only flush solid waste.  I might take the missions money out of my charity money.  I should be ok this month, since I'll have some extra income coming in.  Although I did want to put that money into savings.

Here's a look at my savings: $3,100
$2000 for a course I need for my license
$1000 emergency fund
$100 ($1100 more needed) for 2 courses I want to take this fall b/c it makes me happy

Let's move on to blessings.
SO FAR: $7.94
$4 free car wash
$20 DSW coupon
$4 free frozen yogurt
$5 grocery sale
$10 saved on gym
$50 saved on rent
($100 car ins?-not included for now)
($30 phone?-not included for now)
=$93
10%=$9.30
+$7.94
=$17.24

This Week's Blessings: Translation Work

I think what God wanted to teach me this month was that He is the great provider.  I think He was saying to me, "See, I can bring all sorts of opportunities your way.  So don't worry.  Just focus on being faithful."

I had multiple moments of financial anxiety this month. But then within several days, something would happen to give me a boost.  This week I was feeling slightly panicked about paying my bills as my roommate will be moving out next month.  Everything's on me starting in June!  But then I had some translation work come in.  I wasn't expecting any to come in until September.  It's an extra $200, not a whole lot but it'll help with the bills.

SO FAR: $5.99
$19.45 books
10%=1.95
$7.94

This Weeks' Blessings: Another Job Opportunity

So earlier this week, I was feeling a bit anxious since I calculated my finances and realized that after paying my bills I had about $5 left in my checking account.  Even though it's a 3 paycheck month, I'm not able to save as much I could because I had extra expenses last month leading to an unusually high credit card bill.  Since I also started calculating my insurance benefits as part of my blessings, my giving went up as well.

Then God sent another job opportunity along which I am in the process of evaluating.  Now that I'm licensed, I can join a group practice which would mean I could earn waaay more that the measly $32,500 that I earn right now.  The amazing thing is that the office is located 15 minutes from my house!  By foot.  I would only need to drive on the weekends. However, the idea of building up my own practice scares me.  Furthermore, I'm not sure if having my own practice would qualify me for public service loan forgiveness which I absolutely need to continue to qualify for as my loans currently total about $100,000. Unfortunately, the government has not laid down guidelines for private practice so I can't be sure.

Nonetheless, I felt like God was sending me reassurance with this opportunity:  "See, I can provide for you in a lot of different ways. Continue to give."  And so, I am giving this week with a happy heart despite my $5 bank balance.  Since I won't be paid for a while, I'll be using my credit card.  I'll have enough money in my bank account to pay the credit card bill by the time it arrives.

SO FAR: $25.78
$36.59 Amazon
$15.50 Travel Reimbursement
$200 Gift
=$252.09
10%=$25.21
+        $25.78
=$50.99
-$45 Orphan's Tear
=$5.99

This Week's Blessings: Vacation!

I'm so happy to be on vacation this week.  I had the worst two days at work last week.  I was ALL ALONE.  My colleague went to a conference and the secretary had a family emergency, the doctor is on vacation all month.  I had to deal with two clients with medication emergencies and my colleague's client calling with suicidal ideation, the phone ringing, people coming by, my own clients to see...the worst two days ever.  I was so happy to leave after the two days were over.  I was completely burnt out by the middle of Day Two.

I'm proud of the way I handled everything.  I called our downtown office multiple times, arranged to have the suicidal client seen by a psychiatrist downtown, faxed over her information and the other two clients' information.  I couldn't have handled everything several years ago.  It's nice to see myself grow.

Now for the financial blessings--

SO FAR: $194.68
$30 clothing
$25 food
$5 car ride
$80.80 multi
$37.55 Lutein
$57.15 Intestiflora
$26.95 Valerian
$18.25 multi-carotene
$18.33 voucher
$12 floss
=$311.03
10%=$31.10
+$194.68
=$225.78
-$200 Orphan's Tear
=$25.78

I changed my mind about giving to short-term missions.  I'd rather give to needy orphans.

Total giving for May: $35+200
Estimated giving for May: 35+200+40+?

This Week's Blessings: Cool Job Opportunity

I am so excited!  God just brought a potential part-time job into my life and it sounds soooo interesting!  This company contacted me saying that they had seen my resume online and they were interested in me because of my translation experience, and they want me to apply for a position at their company working as a translator or role player to train the US military in cultural affairs.

It sounds like so much fun!  When I heard about this, I thought "God really knows what I'm interested in."  Money is always tight and this actually pays better than my current job.  I don't want to change careers but this could lead into interesting new opportunities.  I'm in the process of filling out my application, they ned to do a background check, and I need to take language tests so they can gauge my skills.

 They seem to really want me and it's a nice feeling to be pursued.   If I had known I still had hurdles to overcome in getting licensed in the state where my parents live, I would never have posted my resume online.  I would have worked at getting my license first.  Even though I was disappointed this year to find out I would not be able to move to my parents' because reciprocity was more complex than I expected, now I'm thankful.  This company found me because I was unaware and posted my resume with the idea that I would move this year.

I felt loved this week.  God loves me. He really knows what I like.

SO FAR: $44.04
$6.37 coupon
$1107.24 value of my medical insurance
$100 estimated value of my disability insurance
$50 saved on rent
$100 car insurance
$30 phone
$10 internet
$7.75 travel reimbursement
$1.12 sale
$3.50 coupon
Total blessings $1415.98
10%=$141.60
         + 44.04
Total tithe185.64
              + 44.04 (last week)
 TOTAL $229.68
               -  35     World Vision
=$194.68

This month, I decided to include my insurance benefits.  Instead of calculating medical bills individually, I'll count the insurance.  I think I'll consider using this money to give to missions at my church.

Total giving for May: $35
Estimated giving for May: $35 (World Vision) + $200 (missions) + $40 (missionary)

Gratitude

This week, I read a book titled The How of Happiness. It discusses practical things you can do to become happier.  I was surprised to find that I use a lot of the strategies already.  One I haven't tried is listing 3-5 things I'm grateful for weekly.  I guess it's like counting my blessings (non-financially).

This week, I was really happy.  I rate it a 9 out of 10.

1> I'm thankful that my allergy symptoms (which usually cause me severe distress this time of year) hasn't been bad at all.  Three years of allergy shots are finally kicking in.

2> I'm thankful for several people in my life who understands me deeply.

3> I'm thankful that I have the chance to study Chinese, it's reimbursed by work, and I have the best pronunciation in the class!

4> I'm thankful that the meeting with our scary VP this week went well and she was open and approachable.

5> I'm thankful to have the privilege of supporting my missionary friend

6> I'm happy that God loves me.

Counting My Blessings

SO FAR: $84.60
$54.59 saved on April bills?
$29.56 travel reimbursement
$10.69 grocery sales/coupons
$200.55 medication
$17 allergy shot
$160 MD
$122 another MD
=$594.39
10%=$59.44
+$84.60
=$144.04 (10% of God's blessings beyond my salary)
-$100 (Orphan's Tear)
=$44.04

Missions giving: $40 (saved from fasting)

Total giving this month
$100+$100+$40 +$35=$275 to philanthropy  & missions
$300 Church

OMG, no wonder I was broke this month.  I had to transfer $250 out of my savings so that I could cover some expenses.  I'm planning on putting it back next month since I get 3 paychecks.

Thinking About Mother's Day

I've been thinking about what I could give my mom for Mother's Day.  They typical gift is usually plants or flowers.  This year, I decided to do something different.  I'm going to give money in her name to a cause that will probably be special to her.  I decided to do this because honestly, she has everything that she needs and I think it'll be helpful for her to learn about this cause.  I've been praying that she opens her eyes and learns to think and see the world more Biblically.  Her thinking is very typical, conventional, materialistic and I hope this will help her see things differently.

I hope that as I learn to step out in faith and to give even when it hurts to give and give even when it doesn't make sense for me to give, it could stimulate the people around me and challenge them to think about the way they live just as I have been challenged.

I'm not quite sure how I'll make it though the next couple weeks.  I have a lot of expenses coming up--one will probably decimate my emergency fund.  But I also have a lot of giving opportunities coming up at the same time.  I still have to tithe on God's extra blessings ($85 so far), give special offering for summer missions ($100-200), give for the Mother's Day gift ($20?), and send support to my missionary friend ($40). That's over $200 right there.  I already gave $100 to charity this month. Not to mention other expenses which happened to come up this month; next month,  I'm gonna end up killing my emergency fund.  I think I'll be able to make it through because I get 3 paychecks in May, but there goes my plan to add to my savings...  

I'm learning to see these types of situations as opportunities to step out in faith.  I'm not quite sure that I have the money to cover everything, but still, I have made giving my first priority.  After all,  if I'm using God's  money according to Kingdom purposes, why wouldn't He provide for me?  He brought me through last year.  I was hoping this year would be easier that last year.  It's not.  I think God wants to continue to teach me to depend on Him by restricting my finances.  Well, here I go.

Counting My Blessings

I can't sleep.  My mind is full of all the things I have to do.  Life's a bit crazy right now.  I have way too many projects going on.  God has thrown me a major curve so my plans have gone down the toilet.  Well, they're not completely down the toilet, they just need to be put on hold for the time being until I can take care of this other stuff.  But I'm not really surprised.  God has been putting up barriers in this particular aspect of my life for the last 4 years or so.  I've made my peace with it.  In the meanwhile, since I can't sleep, I might as well cross one more item off my to-do list.

SO FAR: $29.33
$475 Federal tax refund
$10 meal
$2.80 groceries
$64.93 saved on March bills
=$552.73 (amount with which God blessed me above and beyond my salary)
10%= $55.27
       + $29.33
       = $84.60

[Running total for missions=$30]

Paying Taxes

So I filed my taxes last week.  I've been putting it off because there was something I didn't want to do: I didn't want to report ALL the income that I received last year.  Who wants to pay more taxes?  And who would know, really, that I didn't report all my income?  It was in cash.  Last week, as the ninth hour approached, I finally sat down to finish my tax return.  I calculated to see how much I would lose if I reported my extra income- about $300.  Ouch.  Let me tell you, I reeeeally did not want to report my extra income.

But one verse keep circling in my head-- "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's."  Sigh.  I tried to rationalize my way out of it but I really could not talk my way out of that verse.  Plus, how can I ask God to bless my venture if I'm not reporting income gained from it which I'm supposed to do under the law?  And this is a venture I desperately want God to bless.  I'm hoping it'll turn into a sizable side income and that I'll be able to report it as a business in several years.

So painful as it was, I bit the bullet, reported my extra income, and regretfully bid farewell to my extra $300. It could potentially turn out to be a greater loss since I pay my student loans under the Income-Based Repayment Plan and I'm betting my loan payments will go up an extra $50 this year.  So bye-bye to $700.

But I told myself, surely God can cover a $700 shortfall.  He's a God who can multiply loaves of bread and pull coins out of fish.  If I'm really living out a life of obedience, why wouldn't God provide for me?  Obedience was extremely painful this month, but I obeyed.  The pain only lasted about a day.  Today, I feel peace;  I look forward to His provision.

Counting My Blessings

SO FAR: $17.01
$4.94 CVS
$42.82 Kohl's
$80.80 Multivitamin
$37.55 Lutein Vitamin
$57.15 probiotics
? bills
=$223.26
10%=22.32
      + 17.01
= $39.33
  - 10 (fasting from last week to go to missions)
=$29.33

[Running total for missions: $10(last week)+ $10(this week's fast)=$20]

Bucket List: Support a Missionary

So one item I've had on my bucket list is "Support a missionary."  I can finally cross it off my list.  My close friend, M,  who left several years ago to be a missionary has been supported by my church all this time.  Feeling that more funds were needed to progress in the work, M finally sent out a support letter.

I've been trying to decide how much to give to M.  I'd love to give at least $100/month but between tithe offerings and giving to humanitarian organizations, I'm already giving at about 15%.  I'm stretched to the max right now.  I've been putting off buying a new computer for a year an a half b/c I decided to make giving a priority.  It's tough right now.  The payroll tax expired, my co-pays went up, and my student loan payments went way up.  I've been determined to trust in God and haven't cut back on my level of giving but increasing it will be hard.

I think what I'm going to do is the money from fasting I've been giving to charity, I'm going to give to my friend.  I wish I could give at least $100 each to M and charity but that will have to wait until I find a better-paying job.

Counting My Blessings

SO FAR: $94.72
$112 MD
$110 MD
$17 MD
$10 Best Buy gift card
$50 rent
$100 car
$30 phone
$10 cable
$32.74 Chase points
$1.18 groceries
? Vitamins
? bills
= $472.92
10%=$47.29
          $94.72
          $10  fast
      =$152.01
        -   35   World Vision
      =$117.01
        - 100 Orphan's Tear
     =$17.01

Counting My Blessings

TOTAL:$67.66
  $220  Med
+$0.60 snack
=$220.60
10%=$22.06
         $67.66
       +  $5
       =  $94.72

Counting My Blessings

to date: $39.56
  $92 Kohl's sale+coupon
 $110 med
 +   4.70 grocery sale
=$206.70
  $20.67 (10%)
  $ 7.50 fast
+$39.56 (to date)
=$67.66

Counting My Blessings

SO FAR: $17.73
$5 BBB coupon
$80 MD
$2.50 med sample
$16.76 Amazon
$13.99 discount books
total:  $118.25
10%= $11.83
          $17.73
          $10      fast
 TOTAL: $39.56

Counting My Blessings

SO FAR: $7.53
$2 CVS coupon
10%=$0.20
          $7.53
          $10  fast
TOTAL: $17.73

Kisses From Katie

I was deeply moved by this book.  It's about a young American woman who goes to Africa at 18 or 19 and ends up staying there and adopts 13 or 14 orphans. That's amazing.  I am so inspired whenever I read stories like this.

I believe that Christians are all called either to give up everything and do missions or limit our lifestyle so that we can better support those who have given up everything to do missions.  I believe that I all in the latter camp.  I'm a sender not a go-er.  Although I would like to do missions for a year at one point.  I'm currently taking  language course so that I can go visit my missionary friend for  year.  Maybe in the next 10 years...?

At any rate, this book made me start thinking about what more could I do to support people like Katie?  That's how I decided to fast another day (and give away that money I save on meals) and to start this blog (to help keep my eyes on the prize).

Incidentally, Katie also has a blog: kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com.

Earn as much as you can.  Save as much as you can. Give as much as you can.

--John Wesley

Counting My Blessings

Accumulated so far: $28.16
$0.50 bagel at work
$50 saved in rent
$100 car insurance (paid by parents)
$30 cell phone (paid by parents)
$55.91 saved on utilities
$50 vitamins (from mom)
$10 saved in gym membership special
$2.74 CVS coupon
$61.22 Kohl's coupon + sale
$20 Comcast special
$160 saved on MD
TOTAL: $540.37
10%=54.37+$10 fasting+28.16=$92.53
-$35 World Vision sponsorship=$57.53
-$50 Orphan's Tear=$7.53

Benefits of Giving

For me, the major barriers to giving has been financial anxiety-- fear that if I gave money away, I would not have enough for myself.  Even though I have been a Christian for over 20 years, it's only been in the last couple years that I began to tithe.  Only last year, did I began to give beyond the tithe.  Last year was an exceptionally difficult financial year. Towards the end of the year, an unexpected expense of $5-600 per month rose but because I had already committed to giving to charity, I decided to continue what I was doing.  I decide to view it as an opportunity for God to demonstrate His provision.

I didn't get in debt.  I paid all my bills.  I didn't go hungry.  I experienced peace about my finances even though I was in a precarious position.  I began to learn what it meant to give joyfully.  I experienced greater intimacy with God.  I began to feel His Presence more strongly.  I could feel that His delight in me was stronger than it was before.

Continuing to give through financial stress allowed me to experience the reality that God is indeed faithful.  My financial situation still isn't that great but I no longer worry about money.  Why wouldn't God take care of me?  I'm making His Kingdom my first priority!

I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give.  I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare.  In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusement, etc. is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little.  If our giving does not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say it is too small.  There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot because our commitment to giving excludes them.

-- C. S. Lewis

My 2013 Giving Goals

Last year, I gave about 13%. My parachurch giving added up to around $85 per month.

This year, I'd like to hit 15%.  I've decided to add another day of fasting for an increase of $20 in my giving  Let's round it to $100 per month.  I'm giving $300 per month to church (a total of  $3600) plus any special offerings that arise.  I hope to give a nice, round $4000 to church this year.

Last year, my charitable giving totaled $4600.  So this year, I'd like to increase it to $5000-5500.  I hope to give a lot more than that since I'm job searching and I should receive a significant raise due to receiving my licensure.  I've already found another organization that I like and to which I'd like to give $250 per month. Assuming I find a job by August, that's $1250 extra, plus extra money in tithes.

Worst case scenario (if I can't find a new job)
church: $300/month = $3600/year + $400 special offering=$4000
charity: $100/month=$1200/year
total: $5200
estimated giving percentage:15.8%

Better case scenario (if I get a new job, a conservative estimate)
church: $4000 + $1000 extra tithe= $5000
charity: $1200 + $1250=$2450
total: $7450, rounded up to $7500
estimated giving percentage:18.75%

Oooh, I am liking those numbers.

My 2012 Giving Methodology

The short explanation:
1> I counted my blessings beyond my regular salary and gave 10% of that to charity.
2> I fasted one day per week and contributed $5 for each day fasted.

The long explanation:
Last year, I read two dozen books on poverty and philanthropy.  One was a pamphlet titled "40 Day Spiritual Journey to a more Generous Life" which I requested and received (for free!) from one of Brian Kluth's websites on giving. I think it was MaximumGenerosity.org.   It's a wonderful pamphlet filled with practical tips.  One suggestion was to give 10% of my regular income to my church and 10% of all other sources (gifts, services provided, money saved from sales and coupons, etc.) to a charity.  It suggested "counting my blessings," so that if I received a gift or a service (i.e. a sweater) then I could estimate the fair value or what I would have been willing to pay for the item (i.e. $20) and give 10% of that ($2) to charity.

I counted my blessings every weekend, making an online donation after I accumulated at least $50.  After a while, I felt the need to give more so I brainstormed. At the time, I was regularly fasting one day a week (breakfast and lunch only) so I decided that the money I saved on meals from fasting I would also give to charity.  Since I'm a vegan, shop at a farmer's market, cook most of my meals from scratch, avoid processed food, and rarely eat out,  I estimated that on average I spend $2-$3 per meal. I like a nice round number so I made it $5 a day, which meant I could give an extra $20 each month.

So that's how I calculated my giving last year. Since I gave $905 to parachurch organizations in 2012, that means (after accounting for fasting) God blessed me by an extra $8000 last year!

2012 Giving-in-Review

Salary: $32,523.50
Giving: $4, 361
Giving Percentage:13.4%

The breakdown--
my local church: $3500
World Vision: $416
Orphan's Tear: $250
local food pantry: $175
my alma mater: $20

So why is my giving all over the place?  Well, I started experimenting with giving to charity just last year.  At first, I gave money to a local food pantry.  My reasoning was that the most basic things in life are food and shelter.  I didn't want to give to a shelter because I've heard a lot of horror stories abut local shelters, so I chose a local food pantry instead.  But then after giving to the food pantry for a while, I felt the need to be more global in my giving.  I already work with the local poor Monday-Friday 9-5 through my job ; plus, not only is the need is greater in developing countries, my salary really isn't that great.  I needed to maximize my limited resources and thus, it made more sense to give to the poor in a country where dollars go much, much further.

And so I decided to work with an international humanitarian organization.  I decided it needed to be Christian so that my giving could be part of witnessing Christ's love and chose World Vision after reading The Hole in the Gospel, written by Richard Stearns, current President of World Vision.  The book gave me a good idea of how the organization was run and I thought it was one I'd be happy supporting.  Sponsoring a child had been on my bucket list for years, so I signed up as a sponsor and gave extra money on top of that.

But after several months of doing this, I became frustrated because I had no idea how my contributions were being used.  There wasn't any kind of feedback about that from WV.  Was I making an impact?  Were my charity dollars being used wisely?  I had no way of checking.  I wanted to be more involved then merely donating my financial resources.  So I thought deeply about the causes closest to my heart and decided that the cause of orphans resonated most with me.  So I googled organizations that served orphans, researched them as best as I could (I'll explain the importance of being a responsible giver in a future post), and finally chose Orphan's Tear.  They have a blog on which they post updates and  pictures of how contributions were used to better the lives of orphans.  I read through the blog, cried through the entire thing, and completely lost my heart to these orphans.  So both my heart and my brains were engaged in the choosing of this organization.

I had the option of sponsoring orphans but I chose not to do that because I didn't want all of my giving to be automated (My sponsorship money is automatically deducted from my account).  I wanted some of my giving to be more intentional.  So I donated money through their website every month.

I'm amazed by how much I was able to give.  Especially since due to special circumstances I had a job-related expense last year that came up to over $3000!  I had to stop investing but I was able to contribute a small amount to savings. I don't know how I did it.  I'm amazed by how God provided.

How I Became Interested in Philanthropy

I think the kernel of it began several years ago.  I'm from the Midwest.  I moved east for grad school in 2005 and immediately developed chronic bronchitis.  The last seven years have been the most miserable in my life. I was never sick like this.  I would literally be ill 6 months out of the year.  I'd just grit my teeth and force myself to get through school, get through work.  I think I hit bottom between 2008 and 2010.  I was still very ill, I was stressed financially, I was angry that God led me into a profession that didn't pay very much and in a location that wreaked havoc on my health.  At the same time, I sensed that I was right smack in the middle of God's will.  That made me even madder.  I asked God over and over again, "Why do You want me to suffer?  Why can't I leave?"  Then a close friend moved abroad for missions and two others basically abandoned me.  So I was sick, financially stressed, furious with my so-called friends, lonely, stressed about my responsibilities at church, resentful that church, rather than being a help, was actually adding to my stress, etc.  I had such a hard time that I came close to having a psychological breakdown.  I could feel the edges of my psyche unraveling.  It's a miracle I made it through and I'm ok now.

During this time, several people at church had babies and I received an email about who could volunteer to cook and deliver meals to these families. Now I believe that church should support new mothers.  I am not a mother but I have been arounf enough babies to know how much work they are and really, two parents are not enough.  But I became very upset when I received this email.  I was thinking that I had been so sick since I moved here, it was equivalent to have a new baby each year for 5 years!  Who gave me any sort of extra support?  Everytime people asked for prayer request, I talked about my health.  Yet in all that time, three people emailed me to ask how I was, one person brought me juice, one person brought me fruit, and one gave me soup.  Only one of them stopped by while I was sick.  The others gave to me when I felt well enough to go to Bible study again.

I think people are very responsive when it came to one-off situations but not ongoing situations.  A tsunami hits.  The entire world bands together to help victims.  10-30,000 children die everyday from hunger and malnutrition.  Nothing, no headlines in the newspaper.  They suffer alone.  They die alone.  A woman has a baby. People at church band together to cook meals for the family.  I'm sick every year for half the year.  I get three emails and one almost-meal.

Do you know what the worst feeling in the world is?  It's when you're having a hard time and you look around and there is nobody next to you, nobody there for you.  That's the worst feeling in the world.  This experience gave me a small taste of what it must be like for the world's poor.  They have no power.  They have no voice.  They suffer alone.  They die alone.  I'd be hacking, coughing, crying, miserable at home and these were the thoughts that went through my head.  "No one knows how sick I am.  Nobody cares.  Nobody's coming to visit me.  Nobody's calling to check up on me.  No one's showing up to help me with chores around the house even though I desperately need it.  I am all alone."

Then last year, I finally began to read about poverty and philanthropy; I was immediately convicted and started to give more.  I forgave my church and my so-called friends. After all, when was the last time I visited someone suffering from illness?  My health has improved to the point where I only feel utterly miserable 1-2 months out of the year.  I've had an awful time here, but I came out of it a better person-- more compassionate, more giving, more in tune with God's desires, and with a sense of greater purpose.  I see why God allowed this in my life.  I'm a happier person now.

Why I Am Starting This Blog

The title of this blog comes from Randy Alcorn's book, Money, Possessions, and Eternity, one of the two dozen books I read last year on poverty and philanthropy.  It is one of the two major Christian books which drastically changed my theology, my worldview, my sense of purpose in life. (The other book is Desiring God by John Piper.)  I became convicted that aiding and empowering the poor was part of the good works that God prepared in advance for me to do (Ephesians 2:8).  So I began to give to humanitarian organizations (beyond the tithe I give to my local church).

I am starting this blog as a way to keep track of my giving, to keep track of resources, and to stay motivated. It is also my hope that this blog could bring greater awareness about charitable giving.  Charity has largely fallen out of the consciousness of the modern western church.  There is a dearth of conversation about giving.  This is my way of starting that conversation.

From Randy Alcorn--

When it comes to giving, churches operate under a 'don't ask, don't tell'  policy.  We lack communication, accountability, and modelling.  It's as if we have an unspoken agreement--"I won't talk about it if you won't"-- so we can go right on living as we are.  Ask the young people at church if they can point out examples of prayer warriors in the congregation, people who have a lot to teach about prayer.  Most can come up with names.  Now ask them to point out the giving warriors, people who have a lot to teach about giving.  The fact that the term giving warrior sounds so foreign says it all, doesn't it? 

Think about it--how do young Christians in our churches learn how to give?  Where can they go to see what giving looks like in the life of a believer captivated by Christ?  Why are we surprised when seeing no other example, they take their cues from a materialistic society?  Statistics clearly indicate that young adults in the church give a much lower percentage of their income.  Part of the reason is that older Christians have failed to pass on a vision for giving. (Money, Possessions, and Eternity, p. 204)

I aspire to be a giving warrior.  I have no intention of forfeiting my reward in Heaven by bragging about what I'm doing while here on Earth.  So I've decided to keep this blog anonymous.  Besides, this blog may not even amount to a blip in the blogosphere.  For now, it's for me and I already know who I am.  =)